The DADA Paradox
by SuperChick2nd
Summary: WARNING! Mentions of Slash and sex.  When Harry finds himself in the past teaching his father at Hogwarts, you can imagine his reaction. Post TDH. Parings: HP/DM, JP/LE, and mentions of SB/RL The marauders' sixth year at Hogwarts
1. Prolouge

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or anything you recognize…

The rain pounded on the pavement, splashing mud and water on the empty buildings and the lone traveler. As he staggered through Hogsmead, he clutched at his bleeding side. His goal was to reach Hogwarts, and if he recalled correctly, it was only a couple minutes from Hogsmead via the passage from the Shrieking shack. He reached the shrieking shack, and paused for a moment to catch his breath. His head was pounding, he was in agony from the wound in his side, and he was famished, as he had not had anything to eat for almost a week. He crawled through the tight passage underneath the shack, and weakly jabbed the knot on the Whomping Willow to stop it from killing him.

Meanwhile, in the Great Hall

James had barely sat down for the first feast of the school year, when a strange man had staggered in, covered in mud, water, and something that looked like blood. The sorting had just finished, and all the food had appeared, and most of the students had started eating. The man made it about half way through the hall before collapsing. Madam Pomfrey, who James knew all too well, rushed down to the man. She quickly began to run her wand over him in complex patterns, most likely doing tests. Professor Dumbledore soon joined her, and levitated the stranger out of the hall.

As Dumbledore levitated the stranger to the hospital wing, he spoke to Madam Pomfrey.

"Poppy, what is wrong with him?"

"He has numerous small wounds, and a case of malnutrition. It seems he has not eaten for several days. However, that is the least of his problems. He has a large, deep cut in his side, and shows the after effects of extensive torture, including the Cruciatus." Poppy said. "The cut is badly infected, and seems to have been reopened several times."

They were now at the hospital wing, so they put him on a bed. "Do you have any idea who he is, Albus?"

"No. Although he does look remarkably like James Potter."

"Do you think he could be a relative of his?"

At that moment, the man's eyes flew open. Before they could react, the man had sat up, drawn his wand, and pointed it at Dumbledore and Madam Pomfrey. "Who are you, and where am I?" The man asked threateningly. Dumbledore raised his hands calmly, signaling that he mean no harm. "You are at Hogwarts, and I am Albus Dumbledore."

"What year is it?" The man demanded.

"1973. Why do you ask?" Dumbledore answered. "Do you think we could know your name?"

The man face-palmed. "My name is Harry. Harry Potter. And I asked you what year it is because I believe that I just traveled back in time." Harry's eyes suddenly rolled back up into his head, and he passed out.

**A/N: Hey, it's me, thesecondsuperchick. I hope you like this story. Please review! I jump up and down every time I get a review. Every five reviews I get, I will update. Also, if anyone is interested in being my beta for this story, please pm or review and say so, as I am currently beta-less. Thesecondsuperchick out.**


	2. Time traveler say WHAT?

Disclaimer: I don't own harry potter, blah, blah, blah.

_Previously: "My name is Harry. Harry Potter. And I asked you what year it is because I believe that I just traveled back in time." Harry's eyes suddenly rolled back up into his head and he passed out._

"Poppy, did he just say what I think he said?" Dumbledore asked incredulously.

"I believe so, Albus. And his last name explains the resemblance to James. I think you should talk to him to see if he recognizes Harry here."

"That is a very good idea, Poppy. I think I'll pay him a visit soon. In the mean time, please try and keep Mr. Potter here comfortable. I'll be back in a couple of minutes." And with that, Dumbledore turned on his heel and left the Infirmary. Madam Pomfrey sighed, and went back to tending to Harry's wounds.

In the Gryffindor common room:

"Why did ol' McGonagall have to give us so freaking much homework?" Sirius Black complained. "We already have a three-foot essay for Flitwick, an eighteen-inch one for Slughorn, and that stupid dream diary for Trelanway. And it's only this first day of school!" Just then, McGonagall came in and said, "James, Professor Dumbledore would like you to meet him in his office. I dread to think what you did. Good luck." With those words of encouragement, she left the common room.

"What did you do this time, James?" Remus asked.

"Surprisingly, nothing this time."

Remus raised his eyebrows skeptically. "And you truly expect me to believe that? Honestly, James. I'm not an idiot."

"Well," James said uncomfortably, "Maybe he found out about me, Peter, and Sirius training to be animaguses."

"YOU WHAT? James Thomas Potter, I am going to kill you!" Remus was fuming now.

"I really got to fly. Bye!" James said quickly, and then ran out of the common room. As James made his way towards Dumbledore's office, he pondered the reasons why he might have been sent there. Perhaps it was the prank he had played last week. It had turned all the Slytherin's hair and clothing lime green. Or maybe it was the prank the day before that had made them speak only in rhyme. It was pretty funny hearing them try and curse in rhyme. James chuckled with the memory, and stopped in front of the familiar gargoyle guarding the Headmaster's office. To his surprise, Dumbledore was there waiting for him.

"Ah, James. Just the man I wanted to see." Dumbledore said. Now James was really confused. "You told me to come here. Am I in trouble?" James asked warily.

"No," Dumbledore said with a laugh. "Even though I am certain you have done things worthy of detention, I am not here to punish you. I merely wish to ask you something. Do you remember the man that came into the great hall last night?" James nodded. "That man says his name is Harry Potter. Do have any relative with that name?"

"None that I know of. May I see him? I might recognize him."

"Of course. I should warn you, he is not in very good condition. He may not even be awake." James nodded. "I understand completely. Now can we please go and see him?" James was very excited, but was trying to hide it. "Alright." Dumbledore said with a laugh. "Follow me."

Meanwhile, in the hospital wing, Harry had woken up again, and was eating some eggs. He had asked Madam Pomfrey not to tell James about the whole time travel thing, and she had agreed. He was feeling much better, and was going to be released in two days. When James came into the room, Harry choked on his eggs, and Madam Pomfrey had to pound him on the back. "James!" he choked out.

"I'm sorry?" James asked. "How do you know my name? I don't recall ever meeting you, even though you are a Potter. How do you know me?" Harry massaged his head. "Damn it! My first day at Hogwarts in fifteen years, and I manage to make a complete fool of myself within the first couple of hours. I never should have left the safe house… Oh great, I did it again!"

"Did what again?" Now James was getting rather irritated with Harry. Why wouldn't he just tell him what was bothering him?

"That you're my father, and I'm from the future. Goddamn it! I'm so stupid! Why did I just tell you that?"

" That's not possible…"

Dumbledore was watching this exchange with slight amusement. He gestured to the door and Madam Pomfrey nodded her head in understanding. They started edging towards the door to give them some privacy, and even though his back was turned, Harry interrupted James and said, "Dumbledore, Madam Pomfrey, don't even think about leaving." They sheepishly came back into the room and sat down, and Harry and James continued talking.

"Who's your mom? Is it someone here in school?"

Harry blushed. "Have you met Lily Evans? Or Severus Snape?"

James blanched. "He was also your father? As well as me?"

"Did I mention you are gay partners?"

James shook his head vigorously. "No, No! It can't be true! I would never like that horrible prat!" It was at this point that the joke was over, as Harry couldn't keep a straight face. He started laughing his head off, before a scowling James punched him in the arm. Harry immediately stopped laughing, and began rubbing his arm. "Hey," He protested. "That hurt! What was that for?" James just hit him again, and they both began to laugh.

**AN: I am soooo sorry that this chapter is so late! I can't update every day, so keep that in mind. If you like this story, please check out my other HP fic. It's called **_**Worst Memory, **_**and I will post a link below. I would like to have ten reviews before I update again. Thank you everyone who reviewed, favoriteted, and subscribed! Imaginary cupcakes, chocolates and frosting to everyone!**

**Fanfiction .net/s/7445251/1/**

**VVRVV**

**VVEVV**

**VVVVV**

**VVIVV**

**VVEVV**

**VVVVVVVWVVVVVVV**

**VVVVVVVVVVV**

**VVVVVVVV**

**VVVVV**

**VVV**

**V**

**REVIEW!**


	3. Explanations

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or anything else you may recognize. Also I don't own Voldilocks. The wonderful Morena Evensong was kind enough to lend him to me.

In the Gryffindor Common room

Sirius, Remus, and Peter were all diligently studying. At least, Remus and Peter were. Sirius was doodling aimlessly on his parchment that he was supposed to be writing his essay on, while complaining loudly.

"Where's James? He's been gone almost an hour! Who else will help me with my stupid Transfiguration homework? Moony? Peter? Will you help me?"

Remus just looked at Sirius. Moony knew that "helping" Sirius with homework meant doing it for him. Sirius was plenty good at Transfiguration, but he was lazy. James was the whiz at Transfiguration. Remus was better at potions and Arithmancy. Sirius best subject was DADA, no surprise there.

"No, Sirius. It's your fault you didn't do your summer homework. You should have done that in June, not the day before class starts. Hell, Wormtail even finished his before he was allowed to visit us."

Sirius threw his quill onto the floor.

"Fine," he huffed. "I think I'll go and find James and ask him to help me. Accio Marauder's map!"

With that spell, an old piece of parchment came flying down the stairs into the common room. Sirius tapped it, said the password, (I solemnly swear I am up to no good) and searched for James. Surprisingly, He was in the hospital wing.

"Hey, Remy, do you know why James is in the Hospital Wing?" Sirius said, puzzled.

"I don't know, Sirius. Maybe he got hurt on the way to see Dumbledore? That sounds like something James would manage to do. Is Pomfrey nearby him?"

"No. Pomfrey is in her office. James is with someone named," Sirius squinted at the parchment, "Harry Otter? I can't read it so well. Here, you try Moony." He handed the parchment to the werewolf, who stared intently at it.

"Padfoot," Remus said condescendingly, "that doesn't say Otter, It says Potter, you idiot!" he slapped Sirius. 

"Well," The dog animagus said, offended "I don't give a damn what it says! I'm gonna go see James, and ask him what's going on!"

Sirius then turned on his heel and walked out of the common room, slamming the portrait behind him. Peter, who had been mostly quiet during this exchange, looked up at Remus.

"Man, you really pissed him off, didn't you? Good job, Moony. Now you won't get any for weeks." He quietly applauded Remus.

"Oh, shut up, Wormtail!"

After Harry and James had calmed down, James began to ask Harry questions about his life. "How old are you? Are you seeing someone? Do you have kids? What am I doing? Who are your friends?" Harry laughed and put his hand up to stop James.

"Hold on a moment. One question at a time! I am 33, I have two children, and I am married to a wonderful person. I have several wonderful friends, and as for you," Harry smiled carefully. "You're an Auror."

"Great!" James said gleefully. "So I turn out well. Now, what about you? I heard you say you had kids? Tell me about them."

Harry laughed. "OK, OK, I'll tell you. I have two beautiful adopted daughters named Narcissa and Lily. They are twins, in fact, they're turning ten tomorrow. Oh, crap! I'm gonna miss their birthday!"

"Wait a second," James said. "Why did you adopt? The Potter genes are strong! You shouldn't have had to adopt."

Harry shifted uncomfortably. "Ummm… my husband can't have children, so we adopted."

"Oh." James said, and then paused. "Wait; did you just say your husband? Did I hear correctly?"

"Yes. I'm gay."

James sighed, rubbing his eyes tiredly. "You do know that my best friends are gay, correct? So you know I'm fine with this?"

"You mean Sirius and Remus, right? Yeah, I know that well enough. I walked in on them having sex, scarred me for life." Harry shuddered. "Man was that nasty! I was visiting Grimauld Place for the summer; I was 15 at the time, and kind of naïve. I had wanted a drink of water, but I couldn't find anything to drink out of, so I went to ask Sirius where the cups were. Seeing my godfather and my former teacher screwing each other was not pleasant at all!"

"I can imagine! Walking in on them making out in the dorm was bad enough. Thank god they hadn't gone any farther!"

"That must have been pretty awkward," Harry said. "Now, how are you doing? What year are you in? How are Moony and Padfoot? How's it going with Mum?" Harry raised his eyebrows suggestively. James shoved his son.

"Shut up, Harry. Moony is studious, as usual, and is happily dating Sirius. Pads is causing even more trouble than usual, and has just run away from home. He came to my house a week ago when he got kicked out for not casting the Cruciatus curse on his brother. He hid out in my room for a couple of days before Mom and Dad found out. Now that I think of it, I should have just told them when he first arrived instead of sneaking him food."

"Well," Harry said, laughing slightly, "As they say, hindsight is always 20/20. At least, that's what the muggles say. I don't know if you understand that saying."

James shrugged. "I don't know, and really couldn't care less. Now, about Lily; actually I don't really want to talk about it."

"Not going so well, is it? Well, when I assign group projects, I'll be sure to pair you two up."

"Wait, did you just say 'when you assign projects'? What do you mean? Are you gonna spend the year here?"

"Yeah." Harry said sheepishly. "Did you notice that there was no DADA teacher at the feast? Dumbledore asked me to be the teacher for this year. It's your fifth year, correct? Your most important year. Man, OWL's are awful. Also it didn't really help that two of my teachers were complete and total assholes."

"So I've heard from Mom, Dad, and pretty much every single other upper year. About the OWLS, I mean. I always thought that your most important year would be the first year." Harry frowned.

"I never thought of it that way. I guess with all of the emphasis the teachers put on OWLS, most people think that it is the most important year. But in reality, it should be the first year because you are learning the basics, what you need to be a good wizard or witch. Most of my first year was epic, but the last two weeks weren't the best. I was unconscious most of that time, but still," Harry mused.

"Wait, what?" James interrupted. "How the hell were you unconscious for the last two weeks of term? What happened? No, wait let me guess. Voldemort came storming into Hogwarts to steal something to make him immortal or something, and you tried to fight him one-on-one, and you managed to get away? Actually, just tell me"

Harry laughed. "That's actually pretty damn close. Moldyshortsdidn't storm the castle, he was kinda living on the back of my DADA teacher's head, who tried to steal the Philosopher's Stone to create a new body for him, cause Mom killed him when I was 15 months old. And did I mention, I almost got killed in a Quidditch game?"

James' jaw dropped to the floor. "Wait, Lily killed Voldilocks? Why didn't I help?" James pouted, and then stopped as the rest of the sentence registered. "ARE YOU KIDDING? YOU GOT ON THE QUIDDITCH TEAM IN YOUR FIRST YEAR! I'm so proud of you!" James began dancing around crazily. And at that opportune moment, the doors opened.

"James, what the bloody hell are you doing here?" said a young man named Sirius Black.

Harry and James exchanged a look. "Sirius, come here. Let me introduce you to Harry Potter."

**AN. Ok, I am soooo incredibly sorry that I haven't updated for almost 8 months! I have been really busy, yada, yada, ya. I have been working on this chapter for a while, but I do have an excuse about why I haven't updated. I have gone to visit family twice, have had two swim meets, have broken my arm, have dislocated my hip, have graduated, and am now starting high school. So, I really hope that you like this chapter! Many thanks to my faithful Betas, vikky-leigh and jasmineflowers123. I couldn't have gotten this chapter out without them. As always, reviews are highly appreciated! **


	4. More Explaining

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter sadly.

Previously on the _Dada Paradox: Harry and James exchanged a look. "Sirius, come here. Let me introduce you to Harry Potter." _

Sirius just stared at them. "Wait, James, are you joking? This feels like another one of your pranks. Because if it is, it's executed very well. You even got the map to say that bloke is Harry Potter. Could he just your uncle. But I didn't know you had an uncle named Harry." James sighed.

"Sit down, Sirius. This might take a while."

"Wait, so this thirty-something year old man," Here Sirius gestured emphatically at Harry, "Is you and Lily's son, who somehow managed to travel back in time, and is now going to be our new DADA professor because Dumbledore 'forgot' to hire a DADA teacher for this year?"

"Yes, that's right. I thought you would be more freaked out about this, Sirius." James said.

"Oh, believe me, I'm freaking out, I'm just cleverly concealing it. Do you know how you got into this time?" This question was directed towards Harry, who was watching the exchange with amusement.

"What? I don't remember, as I was in a battle at the time. Notice the wounds," Harry gestured to his torso, "It could have been a spell, problem is I don't know of any that would allow someone to go back in time. It also could have been a special portkey, but it could have been any number of things. Well, at least I'll get to spend some time at Hogwarts, and spend some time with Remus and Sirius…"

"Wait, why would you want to spend time with Remus and Sirius? Aren't they alive in your time?"

"Yes, they are. But they are currently in America because Death Eaters are after them, and I haven't seen them in over five years."

"Harry, I'm so sorry! But I thought you said that Voldilocks was dead! If Moldyshorts was dead, then why were the death eaters still after you all?"James questioned.

"Well," Harry thought for a second "I guess they had a grudge against the Marauders, especially because Lily Potter, an adopted Marauder, killed their dark lord. You know what; I really shouldn't be telling you all of this. It could change the future."

"Oh." James said. "I guess that makes sense."

Sirius was watching the whole exchange between the father and son. "Harry, Prongs, I know it could change the future and all that shit, but shouldn't we tell Moony, Wormtail, and Lily? I mean, they are all involved in this as well."

Harry started at the mention of Peter. "I guess we can tell Remus and Lily, but I would prefer if we could keep it a secret from Peter for the time being. In my time, he hasn't had the best history with secrets."

"Okay, so we won't tell Peter for now. Can I go and get Remus and Lily right now so you can talk to them, and fill them in?" James asked. Harry shrugged his shoulders.

"If you want to, but personally I think that we should wait for tomorrow to tell them. It's already almost curfew, and you don't want detention on your first day." The younger boys nodded, and stood up. They had a long day, so they decided to heed the new teacher's word, and go to bed. Harry lay back down on the lumpy hospital bed and sighed.

"This is going to be harder than I thought, keeping up the façade of James and Lily being alive, and Pettigrew," When he said that name, a look of disgust crossed his face, "Not being a filthy traitor, and just being a normal person. Hopefully I'll be able to keep it up until I can figure out how to get back to my time." After a few hours of tossing and turning he finally fell into a restless sleep.

**AN: I am alive! I was planning on making this quite a bit longer, but then I realized that the next chapter will be quite long, so I decided to just post this to placate you all until I have the other one ready. I probably won' be posting for a while longer, as I can hardly type with a brace for my dislocated wrist. I hope you all really like this chapter, and as always, please, please, comment. Flames are used to make delicious cupcakes!**


End file.
